


We All Fall Down

by ClarasTeaCup



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Implied Sexual Content, Marauders' Era, Songfic, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 16:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5170883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarasTeaCup/pseuds/ClarasTeaCup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius didn't know what was happening until hours later. You would think that you would feel it when you lose the biggest part; the best part of you. Well, he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We All Fall Down

**Author's Note:**

> Another repost of a fanfic of mine from fanfiction.net  
> An edited version of the fic I wrote in 2012.
> 
> Song: "All Fall Down" by One Republic.
> 
> P.S. Sirius Black is a total dick in this one and has serious anger issues. Sorry.

* * *

  _Know that we all fall down  
_ _Love till you hate  
_ _Strong till you break  
_ _Know that we all fall down_

* * *

 

Sirius didn't know what was happening until hours later. You would think that you would feel when it when you lose the biggest part, the best part of you. Well, he didn't.

They shouldn't have separated, it was a stupid idea, just like she had said it would be, but of course he wouldn't listen, Sirius never listened to her.  
The glorious Sirius Black, always right, always the hero.  
No, this time he was neither, not glorious, right nor the hero, he was just a boy, a boy who had fought too many battles for his age, the one that got broken at only 20.

He had wanted to chase the death eaters into the tunnel and trap them, but his plan went unbelievably wrong.

Marlene never arrived at the trap; and the death eaters got away. He was mad, furious even. How did she dare not to follow his plan?  
Because of her, three high ranked death eaters, might even ones from  _his_  inner circle, escaped.

Frustrated and angry he had disappartated into the Aurors office at the Ministry of Magic to report her disobedience, but instead he was told that she did not report back yet, that no one has seen a sign of her, since the two of them started their mission.

Sounds just like her, he had thought, disappearing without telling a single soul. It wouldn't have been the first time that happened.

Marlene always had been the odd one out, never fitting in. In Hogwarts she had been a loner, always sitting by herself, in class always starring out the windows, day dreaming, although she always seemed to know the answer if she was asked something by the professors. She only ever talked if she got asked something.

Always a bright red bow in her dirty blonde, braided hair. Many students had teased and bullied her because of it, stealing her ribbon, only to find them in the hospital wing with a black eye afterwards.

Marlene was odd, but tough. Something what Sirius had admired about her from the start.

When they got assigned as partners he was glad, selfish and arrogant as he was, he knew that she would let him shine. Let him be the hero, while she was the quiet brain of them.

But in those lonely nights on patrol, without any company, they got closer, eventually became friends. She told him that the red bow, that he always found so odd, had been a present from her dead father; her father had given it to her on the morning of her first train ride to Hogwarts. Only a day later her father died by the hands of Lord Voldemord himself.

To this day she wore that stupid- no, not stupid, he had to admit, her liked her red bow, it made Marlene, Marlene. Sirius liked it when she talked about herself, which rarely happened; to his surprise he found it soothing to listen to her voice.

On many days, when they had to use one of those enchanted tents of the ministry, he woke up to find it being empty.  
He never had given much thought of where she had gone. Probably visiting her boyfriend or family, or might as well reporting new information they had gathered to their superiors.  
She always came back a few hours later, she never told him where she went and he never asked. They simply carried on with their mission.

Sirius felt comfortable in her presence, and she seemed to enjoy his too. Slowly he could see her opening up to him more and more. Smiling at his bad jokes, starting a conversation herself and sometimes he would even catch her singing a little tune to herself.

In battle, he knew that as long they would fight together nothing and no one could harm them. They worked as a perfect unit. They got each others backs.  
Only when Sirius suggested that they should separate, he found Marlene doubting him, sometimes even disobeying him.

In the end, she had been right and her plan was the better idea. It angered him. He hated it when she made him look like a fool. She was supposed to be quiet and let him be the leader.

But he had to admit, when she had refused to take his order he thought of it as attractive. He liked it that someone had the nerve to stand up to him. No one, other than his friends ever did. 

After the second time she followed her own plan instead of his, she had vanished into thin air and didn't return to the tent until late that night.

Sirius had been sitting at the table with a glass full of firewhiskey, a nearly empty bottle and a full ash tray beside him when she returned.

"Stop it." A quiet, shy voice came from behind him.

"Oi, McKinnon, nice of you to return after all. A really fucking, amazing idea of yours, to just bloody leave me alone in that warehouse, leaving me to explain the mess you created to the minister."

He knew it wasn't her fault, her plan was good, his was the one that messed up the mission, but leaving him alone to explain it to the others?

He took another sip of his liquid.

"I said stop it Sirius. You are working; you are not allowed to drink."

A dry laugh escaped him and slammed his glass on the desk and stormed towards her. He could see the fear in her eyes, good, he thought, let her be afraid; it might teach her a lesson.

He stopped only inches in front of her, almost touching her. Being a head smaller than him she had to look up to see his eyes. He smelled like alcohol, cigarettes and woods, she noticed. Marlene flinched when he reached behind her and pulled her ribbon roughly out off her hair.

"If you want to be taken serious lose this. You are not a little child; you are grown woman, for fucks sake, a damn fighter and a good one aswell. No one will ever listen to anything you say as long you wear this."

He noticed that a tear slipped over her cheek but he didn't care, he was angry and drunk. Not a good combination for him.

"McKinnon, if you really want to do this job. Learn how to fucking stand up for yourself. You might fight well, but it takes courage to stand your point. If you don't like my bloody plan, tell me, so we can work over it, other wise I can't trust you any longer. I need you to do your job so we both can make it out alive."

His voice softened at the last part, and she nodded. Her with hurt filled eyes starred on the floor. He sighed in defeat and placed her red bow in her hand. She jumped up in surprise of his touch, which made him chuckle.

"Thank you" she muttered as she closed her hand in a fist to hold on to the ribbon.

Sirius' eyes followed her actions; she looked so fragile and lost in this exact moment. It also made him ache to see her smiling again.  
That small, but genuine smile, he learned to appreciate in this dull time.

So he kissed her, his lips only lingered on hers for a few seconds, but it changed everything. He had only wanted to see her smile; it had been the only thing his drunken mind came up with so fast.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. My mind was acting on it own."

He was pretty sure that it was the best thing he could come up with to apologize. When he finally met her bright blue eyes he saw awe and desire in them.

A wave of lust hit him, he crashed his lips back on hers, closing the space between them, resting his hand on the small of her back. With her hands all over him he slowly led them to his bed, never breaking the contact. He moved his lips to her neck, trailing kisses down to the front her throat. Gasping sounds escaped her at his soft, gentle touch, her hands intertwined in his hair.

Carefully he pushed her down onto the bed, pulling first her, then his own shirt off their bodies. His lips moved over her belly bottom up to her chest, his eyes fixed with hers, the ocean blue eyes filled with desire for him.

That had been the moment he realized that she was beginning to become something more than just a friend.

The next morning he woke up just to find that she was gone again. Hours later she returned, she moved silently across the room and gave him a simple kiss on the lips, then she began to busy herself in the kitchen.

Their relationship had been an up and down from there on. They never spoke about what they were, nor did their work relationship improve. Only that she stopped wearing her red bow, during work, she just put her hair in a simple, effciant ponytail.

The morning Marlene went missing he had approached her about moving into his flat after they had finished their mission. She had panicked and started yelling that she barely even knew him and that he knew her even less.

"I could just get to know you then, if you would just let me."

She had left once again and only showed up in time to a quick briefing of his plan of the death eater trap. He wanted her to cut the death eater off at the other site of the tunnel, so that they would meet in the middle, where he had already set up a bunch of charms to trap them.

She had disagreed with him, that they should find another way, that it would be too dangerous to seperate, but the first two death eater were already approaching, so she had no other choice left but follow his plan.

After Sirius left the ministry of magic he settled back into the tent, waiting for Marlene to arrive. In his head he already made up this wonderful speech what he would say to her, but she never came.

In the first light of the day he stopped trying to fall asleep. The worry got to him after all. Out of his back he pulled his two-way mirror to call his best friend to see if he knew anything new.

"Prongs, Oi, Prongs Wake up!"

His best friend James Potter appeared on the other side of the mirror only seconds later, looking still half asleep with his dark tousled bed hair.

"You okay, Padfoot? It's 4 a.m!"

He nodded, than hesitated, he never told anyone about his relationship with Marlene. James only knew her as the odd blonde from Hogwarts. But now was not the moment to worry what his friend would think about her or their relationship.

"Have you heard anything about McKinnon? She isn't here yet. She usually shows up a couple of hours later. I'm worried."

His best friends face changed and suddenly Sirius knew that something was wrong.

"No one has told you?"

No, no one had contacted him. Sirius shook his head.

"What did no one tell me? Is she alright? Please let her be alright."

James sighed and told him to wait a minute, that he would come over and tell him in person.

That's when Sirius knew that it was serious, Marlene was not ok, that she was hurt or worse, no, he couldn't even think about the possibility.

A few seconds later Sirius heard a faint  _Pop_  outside and James entered the enchanted tent.

"What, what happened to her James?"

His friend sat down beside him on the bed and put one hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't know you became so close, fuck, this makes it even harder."

James took a deep breath and told Sirius what happened. How the Aurors had found Marlene's dead body in front the entry of the tunnel, that most likely another death eater was there, hiding behind trees, making sure no one would enter and trap them. He had killed her before she even realized that someone was watching her.

"It was a quick death, the death eater used the curse, I promise you, she felt no pain."

Sirius felt numb, the blonde odd girl with that stupid, ridicules red bow was gone, forever.

He would never get the chance to tell her that he loved her. That she made him a better person. That he loved it when her hair was completely open and the wind was blowing it from one, to the other side.

His hand touching the silk sheet underneath him, aware that this was the bed they spent their first night together in, where he fell in love with her.

James had helped him to pack Marlene's things, his own aswell, and took Sirius with him to Godrics Hallow.

The Ministry had asked him, a few days later, if he wanted to say a few words at her funeral, but he denied.  
What Marlene had said that morning, she was right, he didn't know much of her.

But what he knew was enough of her, to make him love her. The only request he made was, to have Marlene's hair be braid again, with her red bow ribbon in her hair, that he father gave her on her first day she entered Hogwarts, the place where she met him, for the first time.

* * *

  _I_ _f ever your world starts crashing down  
__Whenever your world starts crashing down  
__If ever your world starts crashing down  
__That's when you'll find me_

* * *

 


End file.
